Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
