; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
