I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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