you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
