ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
