Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(214): View more from Texas

My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night

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(415): View more from California

Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".

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(847): View more from Illinois

just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........

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(914): View more from New York

i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.

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(937): View more from Ohio

I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.

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(647): View more from Ontario

That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.

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(916): View more from California

I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...

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(908): View more from New Jersey

so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.

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