I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
