I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
