This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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