the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
