great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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