quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
