Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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