Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
