Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
