dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Let's paint friendship bongs
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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