never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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