TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We have started to decorate penises.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
