Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
