she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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