I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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