I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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