My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize