I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
