I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
