Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I just got carded by a ten year old.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize
