Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
