OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
