He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
