Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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