Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
