Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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