we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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