just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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