she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
