yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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