I wanna bring you to show and tell
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
