sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
