i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I wish you could order shots online.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
