This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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