where does the pee come out of this thing
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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