You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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