You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
