sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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