@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
