Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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