So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Randomize
