I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
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