I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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