Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
