Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
