idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize
