Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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