Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
