UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
