Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
