He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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