My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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