I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
