Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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