Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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