I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
