I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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